Legion's DeClassified New Guy Survival Guide
by Storm Arashi
Summary: "As a new Legionaire you will have to read the guide to know what to do and what NOT to do. Mostly what not to do. These are guidelines and little stories on why each rule is here. To succeed here be yourself. Just remember: There's no going back."


The Legionnaire's Declassified New Guy Survival Guide.

Pick a decent codename.

_Lyn was bummed when she wasn't allowed to be called Super Unwind. Apparently there was one too many supers with Clark. Clark himself was dubbed Superboy. Both made a friendship in sulking._

Food fights are near forbidden. The unwritten rule states when its called it can NOT be stopped and there's no escaping. Even YOU Brainy can't escape the evil of the thrill-I mean food fight.

_Knock-Out Lad learnt the hard way that when you call a food fight there's no escaping it. Brainiac 5 could not believe his bahavoir looking back on it. He acted like one of the 'normal' teenagers living around the area. And he ENJOYED it. He couldn't bear to enter the cafeteria for days. Knock-Out Lad or Derek could not look his sister in the eyes for a month after hitting her with chocolate pudding._

Koko is not a pet. He's a lab rat (Or so B5 claims...). Your kitty bunny puppy or anything that is furry is not allowed on HQ. Except Timberwolf and Neko-Girl I mean Hunter Lass.

_Apparently Cos forgot to mention your 'pet' machines. Lyn was estatic to have her 'pet' chainsaw Mr. Chain-Chain with her. The psychotic girl was even more menacing. Mr. Chain-Chain was not a good pet._

Taco Tuesday does not apply to the cafeteria! Whoever came up with that idea fess up now!

_After seeing that posted Superman was seen with a smug look for a while. Eventually Brainy and Cos found out. "It seemed like a good idea at the time..." The teen from the past grumbled._

Unless you have a flight right/hoverboard and/or are Superman you CAN'T fly. Jumping off the roof clucking doesn't count as impressing us. It's impressing the paramedics and Brainy that your alive.

_Rooster Girl learnt this the hard way. She thought she'd get in for sure if she could at least TRY to fly. _

_Her parents were unamused and furious. Brainy was impressed at how stupid someone can get. "Another for the Substitutes." He had mumbled to himself._

Brainy is not happy without his coffee. Learn this lesson. You'll be glad you did.

_KleptoKid (Lyn) Pentagram Girl (Rukia), and Marienette Lass (Serena) were sorry they looked over that rule. Brainy had managed to get ahold of Mr. Chain-Chain and threatened to dismantle it and threatened to hide all of Rukia's paper. The unwind Legionnares ran for cover._

Superman is not your personal punching bag that doesn't complain. If you punch him you will break your hand...Or Brainy will break YOU. Never underestimate the power of the geek.

_Maria learnt this the hard way. She was deaf not stupid. At least until she was aware Superman WAS complaining and she actually had attracted the attention of Brainiac Five who dragged her off to yell at her. Only to later realize she couldn't hear him. Thus plan: "Get hearing implants and trick her into my laboratory." was launched._

We never mock the underwear outside of the pants look. Please for Clark's sanity stop laughing and doing it too. Especially if you just decide to walk around in a speedo...And nothing else.

_Cosmic Boy, Satun Girl, and Lightning Lad would never be the same as the new recruits had mocked and adapted Superman's undies on the outside look. A few boys were walking around in speedo's. When they walked by Brainy the genius was frozen. Apparently this attempt to mock the Boy Of Steel broke the genius for a moment._

No Pants Day is on August 3rd not every day of the freaking week. I'm looking at you Knock Out Lad.

_No Pants Day seemed like a good idea at the time. But because some of the new members thought it was a good idea to make it last a week got toilet duty for every day they walked around in just their boxer shorts._

No one mentions the incident involvingcheese and Brainy's briefs.

_This information has been classified from veiwing. Try again later. (Fat Chance signed: Brainiac 5)_

If we're on the ship stop asking the infamous phrase!

_Three hours. Seven bored new recruits. Lyn had the bright idea to start it. "Are we there yet?"_

"_No."_

_Then Marienette Lass spoke up. "Are we there yet?"_

"_No." _

_After three hours of this he was getting annoyed._

"_Are we there yet?"  
"Yes."  
"Really?"_

"_NO!"_

Please spare Brainy his dignity and don't replace all of his clothes with girls ones. That includes underwear!

_The incident involved Lyn, and her cohorts. No other information besides the bawling Legionnaire's yelling about a green devil boy. _

The Fourth Of July is not an excuse to prank Superman. Its funny yes but cruel.

_It was not a new recruit who did this one. It was Brainy and Lightning Lad treading on dangerously thin ice to see how Superman would react if he was lighting the fireworks. The two felt guilty when he got dragged by his cape into the sky...And nearly blown to bits._

Do not mention the clown doll that can not be named and Lightning Beasts.

_Lightning Lad hid in his room for days after that particular prank by the new guys. He was not afraid...He was furious._

When it comes to Brainy's lab he's scary as heck. Do not go in there if you are not asked.

_It seems like that lesson would never be learnt as the new Legionnaire's walked in and out. Lyn having the guts to blow said lab up. No one knows where she got the detonator from._

An unwind is someone who is signed up to be an unwilling full body organ donor. This is illegal. Do NOT call Lyn a tithe...She will cause bodily harm to you.

_Information classified. Information Classified. Information classified. I-information c-cl-classified._

The Atomic Rooster will not visit you in your dreams...Wait what am I saying?

_Knock-Out Lad did not want to remember the white blood cell and the cold pill dressed as Superheroes. The nightmares plagued him for days after._

My word is law. (*cough* No it's actually Brainy's.*cough*)

_Sure Cos called the shots a lot but it seemed like more people listened to Brainy then him for a long, long time. Turns out it was an un-decided vote that Brainy was the psuedo leader._


End file.
